Post by Hades. on May 25, 2009 10:24:22 GMT -5
Fuck, I'm about to have an emotional tantrum.
I'm going to throw everything around in my room, trash it, destroy it.
I've been crying since 10pm yesterday [Sunday] and it's currently 9:30am Monday.
To you, it may seem like nothing, but to me, it's the whole world.
My bird died. Chiky. GODDAMMIT.
Well, he didn't die, exactly.
FUCKAUKSFJHFLADSKJNLKJADFSNGPAJSGHPWIUERJKg <--emotional tantrum: the beginning.
There's an end? Never.
I've had that bird since he was a day old. I fed him by hand, I watched him gain feathers.
I saw him without feathers, I loved him without feathers. My emotional attachment with him and my other bird were inseparable.
They're like my babies. He was like my baby, my seed.
I had to put one of my two loves to sleep. My poor, frail, white baby. u____u
Somehow, he got really nervous, like an attack, and started to have trouble breathing.
He wouldn't move... he wouldn't sing nor speak. He could barely breathe.
My mom called me when I was in Entertainmart trying to get an Alex DeLarge poster and my friend quickly followed me when she heard me gasp on the phone.
These are the times I'm thankful for friends like her. She said, "This can wait," and immediately took me to get my bird and did everything possible to find an open emergency vet.
When she took me to my house, I ran to my room and found Chiky curled in a blanket on my bed.
I tried to put him on my hand, but he lost balance and almost fell, very disoriented.
My friend immediately took him to the vet hospital where they put him in an oxygen tank.
His test results were... poor. He was not going to make it. Even if I had payed for whatever treatment, the doctor said that he might have not survived.
I didn't nor do have 600 dollars or 900 dollars for his treatment.
The most humane thing to do was put him to sleep to stop his suffering. I was not going to take him home and watch him die a slow and painful death.
So, they guided me into the back where he was in this glass case with oxygen.
When he saw me, he immediately jumped to my direction, excited, wanted to be picked up... but I couldn't.
I reached my finger, inches apart from the glass and did a movement that he returned kind of lazily. u__u And I said goodbye, that I was going to miss him...
If they let him out of the oxygen case, he would've died. The oxygen was barely keeping him alive. I could still see his small little feathery, fat, fluffy chest heaving like if he couldn't breathe yet he could at the same time.
They guided me out and then... put him to sleep...
... I just wanted to say that I don't reply for a while, I'm just going through an emotional instability.
I threw a fit. I will throw another one if I go to work.
I don't want to get fired over my emotionally unstable mind.
I hope none of you go through this... u__u I'm still crying and it's 9:30 am. The crying and the pain will be scarred forever.
R.I.P. Chiky. <3
I'm going to throw everything around in my room, trash it, destroy it.
I've been crying since 10pm yesterday [Sunday] and it's currently 9:30am Monday.
To you, it may seem like nothing, but to me, it's the whole world.
My bird died. Chiky. GODDAMMIT.
Well, he didn't die, exactly.
FUCKAUKSFJHFLADSKJNLKJADFSNGPAJSGHPWIUERJKg <--emotional tantrum: the beginning.
There's an end? Never.
I've had that bird since he was a day old. I fed him by hand, I watched him gain feathers.
I saw him without feathers, I loved him without feathers. My emotional attachment with him and my other bird were inseparable.
They're like my babies. He was like my baby, my seed.
I had to put one of my two loves to sleep. My poor, frail, white baby. u____u
Somehow, he got really nervous, like an attack, and started to have trouble breathing.
He wouldn't move... he wouldn't sing nor speak. He could barely breathe.
My mom called me when I was in Entertainmart trying to get an Alex DeLarge poster and my friend quickly followed me when she heard me gasp on the phone.
These are the times I'm thankful for friends like her. She said, "This can wait," and immediately took me to get my bird and did everything possible to find an open emergency vet.
When she took me to my house, I ran to my room and found Chiky curled in a blanket on my bed.
I tried to put him on my hand, but he lost balance and almost fell, very disoriented.
My friend immediately took him to the vet hospital where they put him in an oxygen tank.
His test results were... poor. He was not going to make it. Even if I had payed for whatever treatment, the doctor said that he might have not survived.
I didn't nor do have 600 dollars or 900 dollars for his treatment.
The most humane thing to do was put him to sleep to stop his suffering. I was not going to take him home and watch him die a slow and painful death.
So, they guided me into the back where he was in this glass case with oxygen.
When he saw me, he immediately jumped to my direction, excited, wanted to be picked up... but I couldn't.
I reached my finger, inches apart from the glass and did a movement that he returned kind of lazily. u__u And I said goodbye, that I was going to miss him...
If they let him out of the oxygen case, he would've died. The oxygen was barely keeping him alive. I could still see his small little feathery, fat, fluffy chest heaving like if he couldn't breathe yet he could at the same time.
They guided me out and then... put him to sleep...
... I just wanted to say that I don't reply for a while, I'm just going through an emotional instability.
I threw a fit. I will throw another one if I go to work.
I don't want to get fired over my emotionally unstable mind.
I hope none of you go through this... u__u I'm still crying and it's 9:30 am. The crying and the pain will be scarred forever.
R.I.P. Chiky. <3
